Friday, January 26, 2007

21 Ways To Be A Good Liberal

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before the Federal National Foundation for the Arts Funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of US federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists, who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy

16 Comments:

At 10:51 AM, Blogger WomanHonorThyself said...

Brilliant!..Do ya mind me askin where u found this Joe..right on spot!!!

 
At 11:02 AM, Anonymous Queen of Tequila said...

I was laughing, and then I got sad...because if this trend continues, the world I will leave my children in doesn't look too bright...

 
At 11:06 AM, Blogger Brooke said...

How astute this is!

 
At 11:47 AM, Blogger Joe Gringo said...

I got this from a friend at work, Abby Simpkins, a proud, card carrying member of the vast right wing conspiracy.

;-)

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger Joe Gringo said...

Queen,

The world may/may not be so good in the future, but we'll raise right so as they'll prosper!

 
At 4:43 PM, Blogger Elmer's Brother said...

You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.


This one is killing us.

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger Cataphract said...

Gringo, if this post makes you feel better about yourself, hooray! It might be best, by the by, if you don't trust everyone on the post before me. Some are dishonest, some are cowards. You shouldn't keep company with the like.

 
At 5:38 PM, Blogger Jungle Mom said...

There is a left swing alright! It is frightening and one must be diligent in raising the children. God Bless You and the Queen as you raise yours.

 
At 5:44 PM, Blogger Cataphract said...

The problem is that you guys want the world to be like "Leave It to Beaver" even though there was never such a world.
Every generation, every age has had an unoriginal, unimaginative group like yourselves who wished the world could remain what it was like when you were kids. Guess what: that world only existed because you were a kid. As adults(even though you don't act like adults), you should realize that your children will grow up in a world very, very alien to you.
Of course, you don't care, 'cause dang it, Clinton is the reason the Chinese shot down a satellite (I saw that on Fox).
You guys are funnier and funnier.

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger Joe Gringo said...

EB, I hear you, being afraid of not being accepted by others apparently takes precedent over ones self worth by many.

Cat,
This post wasn't meant to make me feel better, it's just bascically the truth, and the truth hurts. Although I've never met the above posters, except the Queen....she's my wife, I share their beliefs and idealogies and have had the chance to have many exchanges with them, I trust my instincts, I have talked to EB a few times on the phone, you probably won't find a more stand up guy. I've got a few friends who are pretty liberal, they're good guys or else I wouldn't be in my/their circle....it's just that they're wrong on many issues.


Dude, one of the things in life that bothers me is when people flippantly categorize or generalize other people....."white dudes from the south are racsist", "Méxicans are lazy" (most can work circles around anyone else, I ought to know, I'm related to about 400 of them) or "you guys want the world to be like "Leave It to Beaver"....and so on, putting me in the Leave it to Beaver world is a joke. The Mrs. and I raise our kids to know what's right and wrong, distinguish between good and evil, have accountability and responsibility, the things that liberal life gets all mixed up. They will determine their own future with our guidance, not conform to many of the bullsh*t uber liberal social morés that exist today.

As far as unoriginal and unimaginative, man.........you don't know jack, I guess imaginative and original thought is only set aside for the free thinking left.....where ultimately your world exists in loss of personal freedom, thought and expression.

And Clinton? Is it not true he "sold" sensitive information to the Norks and Chicoms? Coming to that conclusion is not far-fetched, just put 2 and 2 together.

Thanks for stopping by, I'll check on your site later.

 
At 10:51 AM, Blogger Joe Gringo said...

EB, I hear you, being afraid of not being accepted by others apparently takes precedent over ones self worth by many.

Cat,
This post wasn't meant to make me feel better, it's just bascically the truth, and the truth hurts. Although I've never met the above posters, except the Queen....she's my wife, I share their beliefs and idealogies and have had the chance to have many exchanges with them, I trust my instincts, I have talked to EB a few times on the phone, you probably won't find a more stand up guy. I've got a few friends who are pretty liberal, they're good guys or else I wouldn't be in my/their circle....it's just that they're wrong on many issues.


Dude, one of the things in life that bothers me is when people flippantly categorize or generalize other people....."white dudes from the south are racsist", "Méxicans are lazy" (most can work circles around anyone else, I ought to know, I'm related to about 400 of them) or "you guys want the world to be like "Leave It to Beaver"....and so on, putting me in the Leave it to Beaver world is a joke. The Mrs. and I raise our kids to know what's right and wrong, distinguish between good and evil, have accountability and responsibility, the things that liberal life gets all mixed up. They will determine their own future with our guidance, not conform to many of the bullsh*t uber liberal social morés that exist today.

As far as unoriginal and unimaginative, man.........you don't know jack, I guess imaginative and original thought is only set aside for the free thinking left.....where ultimately your world exists in loss of personal freedom, thought and expression.

And Clinton? Is it not true he "sold" sensitive information to the Norks and Chicoms? Coming to that conclusion is not far-fetched, just put 2 and 2 together.

Thanks for stopping by, I'll check on your site later.....but first I must finish my weekly saturday chores of painting our white picket fence, washing the cars and taking the dogs for a walk.

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger Cataphract said...

Wow! You write "Dude, one of the things in life that bothers me is when people flippantly categorize or generalize other people" after you post this list.

This sort of list is part of the problem with the nation. If you think this is what it means to be liberal, I feel sorry for you, dude.

Good luck with the demagoguery.

 
At 4:43 PM, Blogger Cataphract said...

Dude, you're complaint about generalizing AFTER you post this list is hypocritical.
Wow.

 
At 8:37 PM, Blogger WomanHonorThyself said...

Thanks Joe!

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Joe Gringo said...

C-phract,

You hit the nail on the head, that list IS part of what is wrong/going wrong with this nation, with the exception of #4 and maybe #14....maybe. That list is not what it means to be a liberal, but on those topics, that's what you all believe in. Perhaps you can enlighten me/us on what it means to be a liberal?

The liberals want the USA to become more like Europe, the problem is, Europe is dying right in front of the worlds eyes....liberal/socialist idealogies don't work....I know you probably long for the day when you can work 35 hour work weeks, 8 weeks vacation, lavish gov't pensions and benefits, too bad they're reproducing at a negative rate and don't have the workforce to support th enormous welfare bill about coming due.....the only thing prospering in Europe is the muslim population. I can sum it up in one word the demise of the liberal paradise known as Europe.........Demography. Anyway, a little off topic there.

Tell me how I'm being hypocritical?

 
At 10:11 PM, Anonymous Queen of Tequila said...

Mr. Cataphract:
I am not familiar with "Leave it to Beaver", I grew up watching "El Chavo del Ocho". I think you may find it amusing...if you get Galavision, it is on at 6/7 central. I just recently became an American citizen, and I am very proud of it! Just received my first Jury Summons, and I am actually excited about it.
I said I was sad about the post because in my 10 years of living in this country, I have notice how people have gotten used to blaming everything and all on the "other side", be it whites/blacks, English/Spanish speakers, gay/straight, Democrats/Republicans, etc, etc.
I grew up in México, and we have always had a different image of the US,we view it as a take charge type of nation. Now that I have first hand experience; I would like to see people in this country take responsability for their actions and stop making excuses for their errors. It seems to me that the way of thinking is:"It is not my fault, so why should I fix it?" I am trying very hard to teach my children to be honorable people and to grow up like the generation of my parents-in-law...who lived the WWII. I don't think being against each other will do much good to the citizens of this beautiful country, and it makes me sad to think that we are wasting precious time and effort on trying to find who is right instead of working together to make it right. Let's not forget that we are in charge of the children's future. Let's make it better than our present.

 

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